Do They Love Me?True Love Waits!!!

How do you know if love is real? This is the age-old question.

How do you know if they love you? Will they have your back when you need them to? Can you trust what they say? How do you know if you’ve just got feelings or if you have truly found love?

Love is a VERB. That means that love is not the right thing said at the right time. If someone loves you, they will have to show you that they love you by the way they treat you. We know this instinctually, but sometimes our knowledge gets clouded by our feelings. It’s important in every instance to take a step back and to test the waters.

Here are some tell-tale signs that Show Love:

1.) They respect your boundaries!

If you date someone that does not respect the boundaries that you set, then they consider themselves more important, and this could lead them to take advantage of you or worse, use/abuse you in the long term.

Boundaries are really important in a relationship, because they SHOW you the level of respect they have for you in a given instance. Do they RESPECT your boundaries, or do they mow them over for their own will and desire? How will they listen to you if things progress?

If they don’t respect your boundaries, they don’t respect you. That would be a red flag, and an instance where you should question whether the love is real.

2.) NO PRESSURE

If your boyfriend/girlfriend pressure you to go beyond your comfort zone, its also a sign that they do not respect your boundaries. I’d suggest you ask them kindly for some space.

3.) They Protect your Heart

Relationships are grown from a place of vulnerability. You learn to trust someone by being vulnerable with them. If you can’t trust them, you can’t rely on them. If you can’t rely on them, you can’t grow your relationship. Here’s the rub: In order to trust them, you have to be vulnerable. When you are vulnerable, what do they do?

Children on the playground will test their friends by telling them secrets. If the other kids keep their secret, they can keep on playing, trusting them as friends. If someone in the group betrays the friendship, they kick them out of the friend group.

Almost all of my adult friends have forgotten this game when they get older, and they get hurt, often. They forget that betrayal damages the relationship. If you betray someone’s trust, you lose your right to intimacy with that person. Intimacy and a deep connection have trust as the common pre-requisite. You must be able to trust them, and you can only trust them when you see that they have an instinct to protect your heart form being broken.

How can I tell if they are protective?

See how they handle things in a group setting. Do they check-in to make sure that you are happy/comfortable in an unfamiliar environment?

Do they stand up for you with other people?

How do they act when you aren’t around? What do your friends say that he/she does when they are in his company?

Does he show general concern for you in your daily life?

4.) They give freely without counting the cost.

This is a big one in relationships. Are they altruistic, or always on the take. Do they enter into the relationship like they are bargaining or transacting quid pro quo, or do they have a heart of service.

It’s really important to establish early whether the relationship you are building with someone is toxic or healthy. Toxic relationships drain you, whereas healthy relationships fill you up. You need to know whether they drain your energy or whether they give you energy, life, etc.

You can guess which one indicates love, I' hope.